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Comedian Craig Gass
Fri, 21 Mar 2014|
Craig stopped by the studio to share some more stories and talk some news with the gang.
Transcript - will not be 100% accurate
-- they Hill Man Morning Show on demand. I'm always online and on your schedule at WAS. Dot com. Greg -- here -- -- -- and anybody shown a second yes Chris. -- Horrible -- accident. A go ahead. Okay. Quote on the girl high school she called me over you want to rearrange or ordering room. In here -- -- and got into the church from Poland on the other -- -- open itself. What what happened when the open and I look like they're reach for profit commercial yeah it was. Nasty flip flops are dangerous and they got right Weymouth the banning of the flip flops in the ban and banning of the yoga pants well what do you think -- -- the chance cracked. Ideal answer -- awesome guy I was at a Starbucks yesterday saw a girl Wear no pants and went halt like I duplicate tripled take a guy. And the name I was a creepy guy who has had a key political and that -- think -- -- -- the bottom line you're able is enhanced. Everything was visible. -- you are and when you do that you're trying to -- be so the first -- rhetorical nice -- they don't -- own backyard. Tiresome when she works out better so that gives you the excuse to look again I don't I don't owner Stuart so it's a team -- -- New -- a Russian machine college now she's best. The Lola how that I love how girls try to say you I don't know we have thoughts to we think about sex you are denied. Making up a mysterious reason to go and a different direction at the mall just so you get behind a girl and give a second time necessarily true that -- he get to see we have the luxury of not having to hide it. So flu like checking guys out look at guys package we can do it because the -- isn't there right no guy is gonna go wow that girl checking out my package is creeping on. Oh yeah but that's a good thing it's not that we don't tinker work we're too busy checking daughter Rasner who. We don't know where her eyes are anywhere there's the girls are here today there -- are they have you know you you can see -- -- not. The -- you -- into -- diesel he checked and Jesus she's got a laser hiring. Go ahead good lucky 10 Q well you know what -- I know you're able are yet get it may now she turns forward. CN visit Texas says his only previous he stared if you glance. It's not a compliment like that creep in a threatening Tracy Morgan -- Lincoln is doing his leg or units is just funny. Lucky I just completely out there well that's the thing though is if you're gonna do it. Just be out there and and NB forward with a diamond just like admit it right to own up to the -- on up to an emptiness I saw him a few weeks ago he said it is. -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- And -- agent want that mean he's really there. It's -- is my favorite Tracy Morgan stories into -- -- -- your. New web part because. Treat market. Or technical one when I was listening to us last night tomorrow we're we're in -- of the ethnic people. When it and it didn't Tracy Morgan. And -- -- -- close -- and searched -- to. When was -- was -- I -- that moment Tracy Morgan walks around the corner I haven't seen him in -- a year ago tristate. I had a party was masked men and FaceBook to overdo it. -- -- It was crazy you know what's crazy about it when you get off or my floor you don't even -- -- -- -- you nothing at all. Did you start walking towards my apartment and you're loaded up and then you knocked on my door. It used to dornin at the right I opened the door -- -- is black holes and -- every. -- holes and don't I don't bears and throws were in about. Although that wow that's an amazing -- that where a certifiably. Insane everything comes out I now deny he really is the is so like Jan. I don't subject. Well you got to talking about flip -- I went in north ridge school -- through our ears and flip flop. He's seen a year ago we're not allowed it cool -- it would not flipped open his own shoot because. We you know we are we would call -- -- -- all of -- about. Because it has them and a badly out of the -- in the locker -- we were allowed to go to our locker after every class that we had a scary although. You know that box that we see that pound the key. Yeah look out. All those open ended cute show is that I'll even the back end there we had to Wear sneakers. He could not Wear any old Tibet is a -- if it. That he couldn't cry about breaking in I mean it was. Young out. If you some argue got a suite that guarantees the -- and the outlook for ya see that's another devastating injury a book -- I could -- that go to the hotel -- -- honestly that the crown plaza in the previous week are gonna cast a baby. But the captain would promote a round they built me and just need to grow loans are protected by adopt. 200000. People injured where wearing flip flops every year again minimal and -- 200000. People. There again the funniest story of 2014. Deaths that I wanted to play and I I I heard this story. Thirty minutes into the new year and I think it's the greatest story of 2014. Yes I can't say who it is because of the big rock star guy at the big rock star. He's a drummer or. A big. Rock band I. But I was at the same mother how how big like a job it was it was one of the biggest without question if you're named the three biggest rock bands from the eighty's yes. That's one of the biggest three about the biggest rock wins against. That's exactly talking -- singer of of this band. Had a New Year's Eve party and I went to leave the party in the net -- two minutes -- you're doing what happened until the story. And -- and they go oh yeah and it's all true wanna go what's true -- I and they go the story about -- -- at least it's -- a story that they did show a few years ago at a festival in Europe. That AC DC was headlining. And Brian Johnson walked into their dressing room before they were going on stage -- they're actually. Almost completely naked the will be and is almost that we needed getting rating on states. Brian Johnson Watson and starts holding court with somebody in the dressing room. And then starts looking over the drummer. And then starts obsessively staring -- -- and many walks -- it goes. I managed you know you've got a giant penis and balls on -- bock man had time to talk a big part of the balls and goes. Not that much that's a dragon the drug identity if I'm also -- -- -- -- and a big subject and just brought it -- next stop -- from what -- -- -- what can -- and on -- wow you know what that does look like a penis shot property -- what -- -- it looks like a big -- the ultimate bridge and people taken pictures and it looks it looks like -- testicles hanging down and he's like no it's shot anything -- messing with them. And the singer looks -- you know what. I'm just being honest. It does he look like the dragon is breathing fire looks like something much worse off I got a black outs and then emulate -- I swear to god it really does any president that everyone in the room and says screw you guys -- privately east Lincoln. Have a big you know. And I like shaft in my back so the next day he calls the tattoo -- back in the states and calls them up and says. Eight. I don't appreciate you guys. You don't do in this I think you guys trying to be funny over year and this is what -- -- an institutional. Yeah. We had a lot of problems and a guy thanks guys apparently was trying to incorporates. Penis and testicles and all is -- -- and they're owned by a guy actually confronted him about it. Stop it who sat him down is that listen we're get a lot of complaints from our customers I want a montage are you doing this intentionally are you. And the guy said. Can you give me immunity to call somebody and and he flipped. We literally have not seen him since he he is that it right there he actually. That's not that not -- I know because I know it's not the same I'll tell you why it's not him. They let -- do it if you yell out at two story on stage. The Obama stays the regent -- them. Ultimatum is a wanna say it on the air why tennis I I hope I look up time really it's not dealt with the untimely so so that but -- shop. The -- to -- says. Listen. And come back because we haven't seen a guy now he left town to always you don't pick involved. That's -- -- and just let down and but -- let me come back all covered up no cause and we're sorry to the next day if you go back -- -- -- ago. The guy. And had a bad and they go we thought -- the guiding us. Am I thought I thought I hung out with a -- other bodies you know he didn't he get a couple my tattoos they're like a couple like I mean my body just didn't want to do you Magnus how he did a dragon and it and -- over a year on Jesus on my library here and they'll go to the Jesus in the east are looking and his Jesus did two Eagles. -- Take -- yes smell any yes the only path the coming out I'm. I -- some other reason either way they normally have Children's Place. And it out in Arlington tomorrow night and I'll tell you the -- -- is it is Lars. No it's not lives if you keep asking really we're gonna hit it and we have to wait -- didn't have to get arguably and I disliked. Yeah well that's -- -- -- -- one. The biggest band in the lives and by the way what go to Miami FaceBook page for the information. FaceBook dot com slash I love gas. With the US is and you'll find out information about the show. And and there's a lot of weird pictures on my FaceBook page anytime I have a weird moment running into a celebrity or somebody that's weird yeah I can document it. Like last year I was I was and heavy metal concert -- slayer. And mega death were performing in in Long Beach I didn't -- game by the hour that's he's actually put the Toronto. The guys in mega death and slayer believe and not a huge comedy fans it was come -- comedy shows so I hit him up for tickets and show. And I want to go backstage to watch some you know. Double stuff or whatever it is that devil worshippers do so we go backstage slayer show and the guys that means and -- Odds. Pregnant comedian Greg Craig that -- agree that what's up when he goes and once in a waste my skinny little McKinney. Are you can G. And he goes getting a look at US consulate and my kids a big metal and now it. And right at that moment a slayer and how I'm Kenny -- -- and I had a -- so there would hope and dream and that's. Well that's always slayer -- alma camp and that's on right who -- -- It's still the computers. Will alert in June programs that nobody. Work on that aspect I. So so while Satan is talking to Kenny gee I go to Bonnie and it'll do. Kenny -- argument you wanna look at its -- news tonight any detriment but legal natural Middleton to middle. Okay now immortal or are saying are taking measures are also saying. I try to do this casual look at -- care about and always see my body with a camera from going. We're away push a -- were oil pusher like nobody -- I don't operate out of Arizona and while trying to keep any near me to think this casual picture. Gave him a stain. The singer of mega death walks behind us and stops behind me and Kenny G and I hear Davis they've -- his friends are you -- later. UNC prayer and students and they. Org prayer circle behind me and Guinea pig and a very animal get my body going. -- -- Any -- and it's not my FaceBook page I got FaceBook. Dot com slash I love gas I would guess -- -- west is go to my profile pictures to see a picture of me talking to Kenny G. While the singer of mega death isn't a person that never happened getting human kind -- grabbed and now. Did you get a chance check out Kenny g.'s. Saxophone tattoo with the balls on. I'm proud about it and -- by the way that guy who has been to add to I tried to Google leads as to actress replied it it's like impossible. It's there but it's but I doubt he's gonna I wanna get shirts made -- me tell -- who it is. I'll tell you audience that if you grow some balls I didn't just get the growth edible it's easy out had to not that go to drug I can't I I feel bad because he lives near here. So that's why I I'm afraid if it depends -- the guy feel -- as well I know exactly who asked that it's. -- I know exact hold on I'm gonna go I hadn't. And -- I know exactly now we have the Google. I mean honestly you know me now. I'm innocent I'm the only time expired and what -- led by the -- now to come -- ago -- you know -- and I know. On the -- my I'm with some make an intimidating included in senator not -- Yeah I don't normally get asked me with my mind went out on the hidden said not some and I'm gonna hide mine number 34 the home. Well I'm actually I I want against T shirts made up. That that have my name on the front on the back just a giant penis with kind of like a bad attempt -- a drag and on -- You know and sell them at the shelves so blatant. I'll see as an Arlington they Leon again it's great to see about thank you RI agent. The evening theater tomorrow night region Peter dot com region Peter -- -- RE or go to the FaceBook page which is FaceBook dot com slash I love gas was two incidents -- -- -- Syria as always great to see high grade C attacks mean a thing. I mean I wanna and I wound up -- a little while Menem and reveal who it is international -- -- -- there's -- gas here on the Hill Man Morning Show.