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Actor/Comedian Robert Kelly Part 1

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Mentioned in this Audio:

  1. Robert De Niro18:31
  2. Blue Hills1:32, 1:37
  3. Comedy Central16:16, 16:54
  4. quit smoking19:36, 19:53, 22:49
  5. Beth Israel22:28
  6. Hill Man Morning Show0:00
  7. Jeffrey Ross16:17
  8. Keith Roberts15:15
  9. Mike Cook7:19

Thu, 16 Aug 2012|

Actor/Comedian Robert Kelly Part 1

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Automatically Generated Transcript (may not be 100% accurate)

If they Hill Man Morning Show on demand. Denmark I'm always online and on your schedule had WA AF dot com. Is Kelly let's -- Eyeball your -- nice to me now we're little and I gotta tell you something -- at foxwoods yes golf tournament time whenever that was June yes we ran into view after just completing year comedies. Spectacular. Yeah yeah it was a life that's -- -- Apparent. We were you to headed back to your room to make -- something -- that it's -- She she was ovulating -- ideally I don't wanna -- -- you guys -- issues that have to ask -- is -- yes when you're forty when -- 41 going -- 42. And you trying to have a baby your wife is ovulating -- you run to get it in her yeah now are because first of all. First of all hooked it it's not easy coming out of me anymore. It is this. More months. And months so I'm. Now is a lot of pressure when when when when your wife wants to have a baby you have to performs accidentally -- -- -- that's why I IE no not at all elect what I'll do his own -- upstairs at the iPad. I don't know that he dot com. But some type of a mill section or some type of you know some -- push email attacks have -- and the bush. Think -- wait no I can't fall a little. How. And then -- -- from the Blue Hills -- just not so discussing yesterday I think. That was going on the Blue Hills reservation on the although -- -- men and their cars and everything and I'll buy without it -- -- retire we'll just get busted there. -- 55 real guy masturbating in his vehicle and then all these people -- -- and say it's a very common thing these men locking into the woods there and and all kinds of code in like if you backed your vehicle in that means the -- but presenting your drift. -- What you're not just punch -- your conscience -- Parker your opinion detects. I love. I love gay guys in their late guys you know their CIA code that they come up with -- like the Cold War with -- gay guys. Just let them go to we build a house or hotel room that they can just go goes to these poor guys he's 55 year old guys don't have to come up with. Leg Morris told to go and push it. Then move forward in Canada like the -- like honestly just. Ayers come up with they gay hotel and -- you wanna go there there's there's no cameras there's no code you know come on in and know what it sneakers you -- Wear flip flops and we know what you want. -- -- And voyage and it is terrible and we literally it's it's late sixteen hundreds yeah they're good at going in the world in a bush. And the guy the guy I don't -- -- -- is -- a wiping gift that's not the. Knowing. What man doesn't know there amendment does in a bush and his own time imagine. Honey poison -- again but what are you doing here on Thursday. That it's a it's -- that is. It is just things you know they have favored bush is like he probably fight for the bush like the bush did you know that hides everything clicked. -- came -- yeah I think it's like the honeymoon suite bush. Then the push -- -- you -- 93 kind of runs invited to you have to be. And it is at the end overture. Not mapped out what you can from granite links -- -- you what's going on -- on not right on the physical play as well with pond access. Particularly if -- go off. Aegon jumper and I'm doing a little jacuzzi and yeah. I didn't I didn't I didn't realize it yet and it might be the random aspect of it it's it's just -- I learned about that Revere beach -- deliveries here you -- -- surely have yeah. And I you know -- -- -- it -- -- Revere beach in this like this section. Where I was I was there one night and all of a sudden a dude pulled up. -- and whoever I'm just sit there was kind of -- -- in your vehicle but sit in my vehicle on fire myself another week had you backed into the spot him I'm not eyebrow but I had these lights exotica from -- idea. And Andrea and I had these these eyelashes I put on just on one side. You know that mix -- What an eyelash on one guy. A new week with I -- -- -- Supersonics Jersey on you know. Oh yeah I get is that we can do this I can do this all dialogue. Wrote about it's great yeah but the. I've pulled up to. I mean this guy was just smiling at me am -- it's updated look over. And you can see what he had going on that is now being is that roused him yet but it was like there was the door you know you. You the door and you shouldn't be that you could see he was. Gonna take. -- -- Oh man was gonna stay well and out yet and that would freak me -- because I have to look at it -- I was like oh god wow. When I went into the decision wow imagine that he told Laura could get so -- coming -- Cox news. I was. -- So it was at that I was a guy at an economic outlook in this what was your eSATA non interest that are -- I didn't say anything I put my car I turn my cardinal -- they'll -- the united I didn't have to explain hey listen dude I don't mean to offend but really when -- down let me tell you. And I. You can hear me I get a yield plus two -- is it my congressman let's talk about -- -- only -- that I really not in this I hang on let me just let me just grab this -- Hang -- okay so it is nice but listen I I'm gonna do this while I talk to you -- tell ya gonna. Okay idol waited and now -- -- that. -- -- let me -- clean -- the mcdonalds from -- -- I don't know exactly. We lied down they we'll get to the point quicker but not yet there's. It's it's it's it's it's a terrible thing I think we should just let let let gay guys. Do their thing whatever that this the gay hotel in New York City me in my wife went to some crappy musical. Little. His tools to setting remember what it was it was called I Miller is called who's called. Stealing time and her friend wrote it. Yeah oh yeah and the fight go I go I tell you it is right now the first on that -- caught stealing time and it's gonna -- years being -- I am and to last. Year being taught him his degree aid designed and it rhymes. And many today it was at a period -- no populist it was a because. Now -- there was not even -- -- microphone is a -- okay there was a three piece band. -- and then. He this songs were sentences like the I was a I couldn't sleep a wink I went to Duane -- and all that kind of whom I went -- that it went to bush and top my friend Mike Cook. Great to meet twice and I rode in on a try. I think it stopped by NGOs let's go I don't know a Q I know let's go to start you know you're watching every sticky. Last. Crappy lyric this and I held down by a neck. I swear to -- -- in nineteen times I gotta get down and I just smiled through this whole crappy thing that went to this used to be a batters -- woman's shelter. I'm a member can I lived a block away and on Thanksgiving I got two turkeys at the supermarket -- spending -- -- and -- and deterred some mean Norton went over there. And we gave -- a Turkey you gave the battered women it would give you shelter Terkel was the plan -- -- in the cities and personally. I don't know what's going on there. I Illinois Edison is they over the -- don't have this done and an hour dummy. But. I -- but we know I just I just gave my Turkey has it was a you know as a shelter -- -- -- -- -- actually recognize and now with -- -- hotel it's it's it's it's it's called out. Out out. And it's again there's this like look this is it a -- hotel nothing and regular people who go yeah I mean in my life David tab about restaurant and it's crazy amazing got the kitchen but all the waiters like -- now. Oh. I mean India it and it's like the fun -- time ever but it's a gay hotel and they should have those on the I think they should have places where these guys can go and not. Have to you know -- -- really decorated perfectly I would assume I'm in the place it was them all white -- just modern -- -- a look at Bravo show. The two Brothers came in a region the kitchen. That text says they have a gay hotel on the back then all of them and thank -- -- must be the Mandarin. Oh cool. Vendor in Mandarin oriental and hammer out -- and now the all right so you are Robert and I'm not yet -- -- You and I can we not not not fully enough. On Saturday night. They go to the world we dot com or Ticketmaster if you think it's it's shows -- 7 o'clock on Saturday 7 o'clock early show on Saturday India don't wait. Don't do that -- to show up don't don't don't they when they do you think if it is just don't get tickets to the white to -- Daryn don't in this guy's a -- this guy grinds my math. At the party the Buick -- invited me Joseph got mad at getting go but I did go when you ignore me to have a drunk I was I was -- -- get in the front row plus fist pumping -- yes that's Bob which really drag me out yeah. He kept coming up to me basket coming up you don't know that's c'mon Brian that's drying. Like to admit it which means -- that would win it's it's -- -- -- that -- -- -- code -- another code word that's a guy XW conduct code does mean you. Wife and my socks and it's it's a grind it out -- of the worst thing is to bald guys dancing together and -- going grind of running. And it didn't say that happened session I was right said -- -- right -- you agree you anger you see everything anger and yet you like to -- -- UFC fight it c'mon let's roll. Let's roll quickly what. -- on your angry. And obviously. 60% he died happy happy drunk he kept doing that like like you know that thing in Brazil now that jump balls down and got out but nobody else was still -- that sort of makes you look awkward and gel to me let's -- go to outlets grind with the Boston accent. And -- -- Hillary knocks over a table. With all the shots over and not even one not even applied those outlets -- -- -- -- -- -- of grinding. I hit it I love this guy and to not -- hello Randy. They don't want what's up. I just don't hit it gave our map out no mistake nearby it will never make again look. What place big. Deep bond with the actually at this point. I don't date do you need to have. Gay bars or can everybody go to the sale -- that's what what it was with -- -- -- let's go to the same place and done our about me in the comics. When I lived in Boston we used to go to -- -- -- the -- Did just so I always to go there and like we know metallic one of them like one of the guys -- what's really going on after that and then some hot Filipino do -- we're just a mountain and it and you see the most they're talking like this relationship blooming. -- -- Like he -- giggle in any pressure you know the hair out on his face and -- giggling -- be you know. And then and then they'd leave together we have the right now would you go ditto ditto ditto -- for another drink this guy don't really do what they're -- I don't know dude dude -- Dave it's not that the -- Now. -- They're now nowadays would I ever got a game always had a girlfriend. Yeah it -- except. The -- this would have quit date and always had a girl always say like you just chicken I'd always go out and I was a guy you know let's go and then something happened to him we start to get a little success and started you know. And then we're at Revere beach when -- Now is the same area are different no way -- telling -- like tallies discipline within the ask Kelly what about these foreign -- -- without -- even get a -- play you say. It wink wink. Completely straight right -- they completely initiative -- is secret code worked for a smooth. -- the bottom of mr. -- if -- -- so they'll get you know gay guys eaten fried clams we know that I didn't wanna turn on the sand you had done it. I'm. We -- -- -- we we're appeared. -- -- -- -- who knows what are shredded to about it via 23 years sometimes you shred that apps at the V -- A bomb and then -- -- that she just cracked yeah. Yeah. Diplomats that they previously. Practiced yeah. I announced that I that we dollar and skinny now and I'm so these girls pulled up they go -- nice -- They want to be we kittens which also classes at Salem but smoke and hot now that you know he can't make money off a week and so one was a -- you gonna make you get a you're gonna -- -- -- area. There's get a -- spices and paprika who have suffered. -- up so we went back to the house me and gain and we will have to do just jumped in the shower naked quickened to Wiki girls you showered and I'll sit there all of a sudden I'm like oh my god. -- don't know what's gonna. Dean had a guitar in his hand and that walk around naked because Bobby. He looked to be angry -- He -- -- -- cramped together. And putting him to get top and they turn to the girls he's got to play in this lovely song lady -- I was like what happened very hot day like out there. Alex yeah I actually played I was some original. I was an original pieces that you lose your kudos to payments -- leading to. Came in and and it was on sun doesn't Iowa's loss to that was blew the deal with the witches. And I think what originated them did you think Dana Lou Blake was too early on the over our joke did you I know you are not -- sensitive person on comedy but -- I'm not I'm not I'm not really that -- topical stuff to kind of you know it's like you know I really care about my world you care about the -- right. But. I don't know I don't think so I mean look -- tries some then you don't look we reduce its number eleven jokes Thursday. You know we're on stage in front of honest to god. Arabs in Jewish people there was like eight people the comic cellar. And need Billy -- Patrice Keith Roberts in Norton all in on stage. And tried to be funny about something I'll do what you could do is one comic and one onstage indeed as you get like a character. And it was like dude how do you not acknowledge what happened as a -- you you can't just what -- tell your regular act that you have to go up. It sees something. Inmate in try to make somebody go at least in. You know it and just laugh a little bit and you know let out a little bit and we wanted to try to like what we were on the plane. What we would've done my -- story like how I would've stopped to you know and I mean like -- you know like I can't. Thank you know if it was a move like what we would've done I -- done this in that it went well over an hour a slap -- stupid -- flight attendant and threw her on the guy and he was stabbed America's literally need -- they do nothing. You know -- thousand -- -- an -- and then you know are we would do that stuff and several as a funny now some might have been insensitive but it was all Arabs -- Jewish people -- do which is weird. Well I mean I think it's like I was surprised that Comedy Central Jeffrey Ross made a few jokes in the rose and -- about it and they cut those out till I was surprised I. You get I get it I get a -- money is money money is king -- guy you see some on the show you guys are great you say what you want you to skirt the issues you innuendo and you still find a way to be funny on regular radio. And but if you see some messed up you have data dump button. Because of -- king they're gonna pay the bills you know I mean this you know this from his nicely a seed. For a reason and -- a you have to go and to your show -- bush. You know they may not so I get Comedy Central but sometimes like I just did. You know like FX that's what effects he's doing so good because they let you like you don't want. Let it go there's certain things you can't say -- certain things you you can't cluster stuff together but they'll let you beat creative and try to find the funny. -- mean like you probably couldn't have had some of the rest give me stuff on a regular. Battery door and never I just I just shot a show. A pilot for them last week. In the stuff we're doing. I was like he's surely we can do with its. Like he sure somebody -- located at this is for facts without facts and what's it about its it's about four Warren division cops is pops it just Jason ports yeah and they make extra money. That's only -- Question which I never I never ended up -- six and effigies are. The code for like three inches guy who has that is -- that you've got to get the real number out when when you have her meeting at I don't know it really other than him. And I knew what it was like when I was 28. Now that I'm 41 there's no real number because some days it's -- one hand some games it's one and have some days to do with a bomb on the top. -- -- Now I was gonna texting and ask were you on that cop show on the network for a little while to do that yeah MI CT FOK because I was I was watching. Is watching the promo -- and they showed -- yup I'm like an unbelievable assistant thing and I don't think you ever on the show after I know I did I did. Nine episodes -- I was there series regular they call it yeah those are Robert De Niro produce that show. I was like oh my god this is great chart right chemistry is my house but what about job it was a great shot like I did -- -- you know I thought you know again one you know that's like we shot this -- some is like you know. This is it man is I don't settle down I was supposed to be famous twelve years ago. A look at a house Rosie famously had a curly mullet marine let's look at that so relax. But. Yeah I was a good show but here's the thing with that show it was a network show that was a big -- like there was a lot of money in that -- Com. But you know it's the first of all they they give you know like to make it goes. You know stars. When you gonna call she -- 22456. If -- 9 o'clock sheet you'll get in May be a little powder -- that's -- -- I looked like I was dying. On the shot. Like I'm I was the whitest thing on the show like people commonly dude you'll can't tell what's probably -- -- if it's a beautiful TNT and T and good looking good looking and then just me -- -- -- -- -- -- -- real clock to by the hour. Yeah I actually I felt bad because I quits you know I I it's a year Friday they quit smoking. But I lost forty pounds but when I shot that show host to ninety something I just ballooned up while it was shooting and the prop guy actually. -- back. I'm putting my belt on. I don't know they got it because I do I gain weight quit smoking and well of and it's like you know -- crabs in the dang and I just about food service and then I had to have he had to help me put my -- don't as the -- belt is pretty happy it's too little nugget knots and it's not you know obviously it's not easy uneasy and that he put it on one -- and I -- how many he pulled the -- And they have the younger prop guy put my belt out on the -- Nothing says reality like having to cut a new and not -- -- when he at that point again to cut him notch that you know it's it's terrible that this show that I just film I get to be fat. Like -- I'm supposed to be selected in the first episode is is literally when I read the script. It was -- overweight cop trying to get his wife pregnant which is literally my life. It's just -- I heard yelling at me Tony Brad but Palin's -- is it does that interfere with red and -- a -- of overhead of fat people but I mean what like why does she care I mean her husband and I mean you're you're gonna impregnate her -- regardless of what you look like -- -- yeah. Yeah you. It's hard to get a girl pregnant. If you that yeah you bush fat. -- -- Interferes with the -- shape -- that aside them I'm a stylist -- hair it's the actual fat the -- in the LA area as Allah. Does volume to penetrate. He levels -- needed to be something pounds you lose a half and you don't get resistance yeah oh yeah I have I have the high of 75 inch pizza. If you're and I wasn't fat oh my god put the Mike -- -- -- But she still not right into sailor dad I like our whole family huddled up. -- Where it could she's not now she's not pregnant she's -- we're gonna do you know winner this week. Is you know it is it's only times you don't think you'll ensure rooms every day for a year was a good idea is that -- -- that he she got pregnant two years ago now and then it it it it. I need is that music you -- to. It's a little -- an eleven to us now left and then now we're talking about this care. What you -- -- a guy. And this and yeah and it's very it's very common conduct incidents and to get -- it's actually healthy. Does it cleans out whatever it was -- you know whatever is in the gutter. Yeah he's got a problem now is that not a way to say it. Do you see in a plant -- I -- -- guys over at Beth Israel that's the way they say yeah that's -- the -- -- innocent -- -- -- The fall in the got them right it's nice to rain but if fills up right. You updating you take those -- you strip all that muck out -- at the -- and so anyway as we. -- -- Shia. Yes so she you know we had that -- would be -- that's my quit smoking and now child is away. What happened if it does that happen gonna go get them of the stuff done but what oh and higher -- have shaft and hi pat. Married on -- young yeah and hiring young Puerto Rican like it. -- -- know not put -- Cuban with a mixture of the use Pena to lose you know I mean really sexy and just to impregnated her -- just don't regulator and then gonna come out nicer -- nice there. And a -- you know circumcised who -- regular. And you I use and I say they suspect that you're accepting it can you stay from Ali -- -- it will be right.

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